Managing Anxiety
Finding Calm: Practical Tips and Techniques for Managing Anxiety
Anxiety is something we all experience from time to time. That flutter in your chest before a big presentation, the racing thoughts when you're worried about a loved one, or the restless nights when your mind won't quiet down these are all normal human experiences. But when anxiety becomes frequent, intense, or starts interfering with your daily life, it's time to develop some tools to help manage it.
As a therapist, I've worked with countless individuals navigating anxiety, and I want you to know something important: you're not broken, and you're not alone. Anxiety is one of the most common mental health challenges people face, and the good news is that there are many effective strategies that can help.Here are some practical techniques you can start using today.
Understanding What's Happening in Your Body
Before we dive into techniques, it helps to understand what anxiety is. When you feel anxious, your body's alarm system often called the fight-or-flight response has been activated. Your brain perceives a threat (real or imagined) and prepares your body to respond. Your heart rate increases, breathing quickens, muscles tense, and your mind becomes hypervigilant. The key to managing your anxiety is learning how to signal to your body that you're safe and can relax.
Grounding Techniques: Anchoring Yourself in the Present
When anxiety strikes, it often pulls us into worries about the future or regrets about the past. Grounding techniques help bring you back to the present moment, where you're safe right now.
The 5-4-3-2-1 Technique
This is one of my favorite exercises to share with clients because it's simple and effective. Here's how it works:
Name 5 things you can see around you
Name 4 things you can physically feel (your feet on the floor, the texture of your clothing)
Name 3 things you can hear
Name 2 things you can smell (or think of two smells you like)
Name 1 thing you can taste
This technique engages your senses and pulls your attention away from anxious thoughts and back into your immediate environment.
Physical Grounding
Sometimes we need to reconnect with our physical body. Try pressing your feet firmly into the ground and noticing the sensation. Hold an ice cube in your hand and focus on the temperature and how it changes. Touch something with an interesting texture such as a soft blanket, a rough piece of bark, smooth stone and really pay attention to how it feels.
Breathing: Your Built-In Anxiety Relief Tool
You've probably heard "just breathe" more times than you can count, but there's solid science behind why this works. When you're anxious, your breathing becomes rapid and shallow, which reinforces the anxiety response. Intentional breathing activates your parasympathetic nervous system, which calms your body down.
Box Breathing
This technique is used by everyone from athletes to military personnel:
Breathe in for a count of 4
Hold for a count of 4
Breathe out for a count of 4
Hold for a count of 4
Repeat for several cycles
4-7-8 Breathing
Another powerful technique:
Breathe in through your nose for 4 counts
Hold your breath for 7 counts
Exhale slowly through your mouth for 8 counts
The extended exhale is particularly calming. You can use this before bed, during stressful moments, or anytime you need to reset.
Challenging Anxious Thoughts
Anxiety loves to tell stories,usually worst-case scenarios that feel very real in the moment. Learning to question these thoughts can reduce their power over you.
Ask Yourself These Questions:
What evidence do I have that this thought is true?
What evidence do I have that contradicts this thought?
Am I confusing a thought with a fact?
Am I overestimating the likelihood of a negative outcome?
Even if this happened, could I cope with it?
What would I tell a friend who had this worry?
You're not trying to force positive thinking or pretend problems don't exist. You're simply looking at your thoughts more objectively and considering alternative perspectives.
The "And" Technique
Instead of fighting anxious thoughts, try accepting them while adding to them. For example:
"I'm feeling really anxious about this presentation" becomes "I'm feeling anxious about this presentation, AND I've prepared well and done this before."
"What if I fail?" becomes "What if I fail, AND I could learn from it and try again."
This acknowledges your feelings while opening space for other truths to coexist.
Movement and Physical Release
Anxiety creates physical tension and energy that needs somewhere to go. Regular movement isn't just good for your physical health it's one of the most effective anxiety management tools available.
Try one of these suggestions to find what works for you:
A 10-minute walk around your neighborhood
Dancing to your favorite songs in your living room
Gentle stretching or yoga
Watching a video or favorite movie
Even cleaning or organizing can provide physical release
The key is regularity. Moving your body several times a week can significantly reduce baseline anxiety levels and help you handle stress better when it arises.
Creating a Worry Period
This might sound counterintuitive but designating a specific time to worry can actually reduce anxious thoughts throughout the day.
Set aside 15-20 minutes each day as your "worry time." When anxious thoughts pop up during the day, acknowledge them and tell yourself, "I'll think about this during my worry period." Write them down if that helps. When your worry time arrives, allow yourself to think through those concerns. Often, you'll find that what seemed urgent earlier doesn't feel as pressing now.
This technique helps you regain control over when anxiety gets your attention, rather than letting it hijack your day.
Building Your Calm Through Routine
Small, consistent practices can build resilience against anxiety over time:
Morning Routines
How you start your day matters. Consider beginning with something calming rather than immediately checking your phone or news. This could be five minutes of quiet coffee, light stretching, journaling, or simply sitting with your thoughts.
Sleep Hygiene
Anxiety and sleep problems often go hand in hand. Prioritize regular sleep and wake times, create a calming bedtime routine, limit screens before bed, and make your bedroom a restful environment. When you're well-rested, you're better equipped to handle stress.
Limit Anxiety Triggers When Possible
While you can't avoid all stress, you can be mindful about what you consume. If social media increases your anxiety, set time limits. If certain news sources spiral you into worry, be selective about when and how you engage with news. It's not about avoidance it's about being intentional.
The Power of Connection
Anxiety can feel isolating, but connection with others is deeply healing. Talk to someone you trust about what you're experiencing. Join a support group. Engage in activities with others. Even small interactions such as chatting with a neighbor or calling a friend can help shift your mental state.
Remember, sharing your struggles isn't burdening others; it's being human. Most people appreciate the opportunity to support someone they care about.
Progressive Muscle Relaxation
This technique helps release the physical tension that accompanies anxiety:
Start with your toes tense them for 5 seconds, then release
Move to your calves, thighs, and so on, working up through your body
Tense each muscle group, then let go and notice the difference
Include your hands, arms, shoulders, face, and jaw
This practice increases your awareness of tension in your body and gives you a tool to release it consciously.
When to Seek Professional Help
These techniques are valuable tools, but sometimes anxiety requires additional support. Consider reaching out to a mental health professional if:
Your anxiety is significantly interfering with work, relationships, or daily activities
You're avoiding situations or places because of anxiety
You're experiencing panic attacks
You're turning to alcohol, substances, or other unhealthy coping mechanisms
The anxiety feels overwhelming despite your best efforts
You're having thoughts of harming yourself
Therapy can provide you with personalized strategies, help you understand the roots of your anxiety, and offer a safe space to process difficult experiences. There's no shame in seeking help it's actually one of the bravest and most effective things you can do.
Your Anxiety Toolkit: Putting It All Together
Managing anxiety isn't about eliminating it completely that's neither realistic nor necessary. It's about building a toolkit of strategies that work for you and developing a healthier relationship with your anxious feelings.
Start with one or two techniques that resonate with you. Practice them when you're calm so they're available when you're anxious. Be patient and compassionate with yourself. Some days will be harder than others, and that's okay.
Remember, anxiety is uncomfortable, but it's not dangerous. You have survived 100% of your anxious moments so far. These tools can help you not just survive but move through anxiety with more ease and confidence.
You're stronger than you think, and you don't have to face this alone.
If you're struggling with anxiety and would like personalized support, I'm here to help. Feel free to reach out for a consultation where we can discuss strategies tailored specifically to your needs and experiences.
